Hey Al, where’s that global warming?

With headlines like this, is it any wonder that Al Gore and everyone else involved in the “global warming” scam are rapidly replacing “global warming” with “climate change”? (And yes, these headlines are all from the past week.)

• U.S. Faces Record Cold Weather; Florida Crops May Avoid Damage
• All-time record snowfall in Burlington, Vermont
• Des Moines, Iowa: 30 Degrees below normal
• Peru’s mountain people face fight for survival in a bitter winter
• Siberian winds usher in record lows in Beijing
• Winter of 2009-2010 Could Be Worst in 25 Years
• 3 Deaths Due To Cold Reported in Memphis
• Seoul buried in heaviest snowfall in 70 years
• Miami shivers from coldest weather in decade
• Once in a generation cold snap forecast for NC
• Britain facing one of the coldest winters in 100 years
• Britain braced for heaviest snowfall in 50 years
• Chicago Man’s Death Is Fourth Related To Cold This Winter
• Worst Winter Since 1985 Likely Underway
• Next Arctic Blast follows snow, strong winds
• Midwest bracing for heavy snow, wind chills of -50

Well, apparently someone didn’t get the “‘global warming’ will now be called ‘climate change’” memo. Another group of self-proclaimed experts is now saying that we should use balloons to run a hose into the upper atmosphere so that sulfur particles can be pumped into the stratosphere to reflect sunlight away from the earth. First, wasn’t it the greenies in the 1970′s and 1980′s that said that sulfur particles were causing acid rain that would kill us all? Second…. have you people been outside recently? It’s flippin’ COLD. We need all the sunlight we can get.

Recovery? Really?

According to the Wall Street Journal, “The number of Americans filing for personal bankruptcy rose by nearly a third in 2009, a surge largely driven by foreclosures and job losses.”

That’s working out really super-duper-iffic, isn’t it?

Obama made a big deal about his first act in office being to close the terrorist detention center at Guantanamo Bay. While the administration’s pledge to close the detention center by January 22nd of this year won’t be met, the wheels are turning. Some of the prisoners will be relocated to a prison in Illinois. Now on US soil, it puts the detainees within the reach of the ACLU. Gee thanks for that. Some of the other detainees were released outright, where they are now re-joining al-Qaeda in Yemen. Gee, thanks for that too. And what should make everyone feel safe and secure, the prisoners will be housed just down the road from a nuclear power plant and Rock Island Arsenal under the watchful eye of the same federal employees that let three prisoners escape earlier this month. This is going to be just GREAT!

Speaking of Illinois…

Obama’s Chicago. We can’t say enough great things about it. If it’s not rampant crime and shootings making headlines it’s budget overruns, sky-high taxes, and battles over who’s running the parking meters. The latestheadline: “The Chicago Police Department may scrap the entrance exam so that they can hire more minorities”. Wait, something’s missing form that official statement… let us fix that last sentence for them:

“The Chicago Police Department may scrap the entrance exam so that they can be politically correct and hire more minorities that cannot pass the exam in the first place.”

There, that’s better.

And that’s just what Chicago needs: ineffective police, draining taxpayer money and being dumped into one of the highest-crime cities in the nation. Awesome.

Capitalism, for the win!

It seems that Kalashnikov, the developer of the AK-47 assault rifle, is going out of business. It seems that lower-priced copies sold by other countries have put quite the crimp on their business. The irony is that Kalashnikov developed the AK-47 rifle for the Soviet Union’s army so they could fight us eeeeevil capitalists in the West. So in an ironic twist of fate, it seems that the tenent of capitalism — competition driving innovation — has brought down the company responsible for one of the weapons developed by the people who didn’t believe capitalism worked. If this isn’t the definition of irony, nothing is.

Crazy laws you might be breaking

Say you are unimpressed with the local public school system, like many parents are. Say you can’t afford private school, like many parents can’t. Say you want the best possible education for your kids despite this, and, being bright people, decide to home school your kids. Well, better not forget to fill out the right paperwork. Just ask Richard & Margie Cressy of Albany, New York. They’ve been arrested on — get this — child endangerment charges. Their crime? Failing to register their four children or their home schooling curriculum with the local school district.

Did your pet die? Did you bury it in your backyard? That’s a no-no in many cities, such as Conyers, Georgia.

While enjoying the recent benefits of global warming climate change, many people warm up their cars in the morning while getting ready for work. (Think of the carbon emissions!) If you do, you’re breaking the law in many cities and states, including: Nashville, Tennessee; Grand Junction, Colorado; Iowa City, Iowa; and the entire states of Texas and Ohio. Fines can be $50 or more. (Is it too late to return that remote starter you got for Christmas?)

Building a wine cellar? Be careful how many bottles you buy in Ohio. The legal limit is 288 bottles per year. While this may sound like a lot, many people buy two bottles of everything: they drink one now, and cellar the other. And if it’s a particular good wine and they get a good deal, some people will buy 5 to 10 bottles of the same wine at a time.